Does anything in the world give you funkier breath than Chili Cheese Fritos? I've gone to bed after consuming shellfish, whiskey, beer, bleu cheese, sauerkraut and anchovies and still not woken up with the breath I had this morning.
Last night, my "one glass of wine with dinner" was followed by five more glasses of wine sans dinner. Perhaps that's why the Chili Cheese Fritos sounded - at around midnight - like such a good idea.
I usually brush my teeth vigorously before bed, but the wine went a long way toward making that idea seem like a bit too much work. So, following a Tivo'd episode of X-Files, I toddled off to semi-drunk dreamland with bits of Chili Cheese Fritos lodged in various dental concavities.
Last night, my "one glass of wine with dinner" was followed by five more glasses of wine sans dinner. Perhaps that's why the Chili Cheese Fritos sounded - at around midnight - like such a good idea.
I usually brush my teeth vigorously before bed, but the wine went a long way toward making that idea seem like a bit too much work. So, following a Tivo'd episode of X-Files, I toddled off to semi-drunk dreamland with bits of Chili Cheese Fritos lodged in various dental concavities.
When I woke this morning, it was with the taste of decaying road kill filling my mouth. I tried to breath through my nose, hoping I could trap the godawful scent, but that accomplished nothing but to fill my nasal cavities with the smell.
Mrs. Taylor was sleeping with her back to me, with good reason, I think
I brushed for a looooooong time and gargled with Listerine (which tastes almost as bad as day-old Chili Cheese Fritos) but I can - or imagine I can - still taste those Fritos in there somewhere.
From now on: no more wine if there are Chili Cheese Fritos in the cupboard.
Mrs. Taylor was sleeping with her back to me, with good reason, I think
I brushed for a looooooong time and gargled with Listerine (which tastes almost as bad as day-old Chili Cheese Fritos) but I can - or imagine I can - still taste those Fritos in there somewhere.
From now on: no more wine if there are Chili Cheese Fritos in the cupboard.
2 comments:
Fritos are SO renound for leaving you with their signature stink, something akin to dirty feet dunked in rotting garbage. I personally don't know how anyone can eat 'em, but with no post-drinking Taco Bell drive through near you, I guess you have to get creative.
That'll learn ya to eat those away from those "walking tacos." Fritos smell like feet, no wonder.
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